You Deserved That
by YonderB
Summary: My rendition of how they save Jack in PotC 3. Spoilers for those who haven't seen PotC 2.


"Jack! You're alright!" gasped Elizabeth, running over the the captain, Gibbs, Will, Barbossa, Ragetti and Pintel hot on her heels.

Jack was sitting in a stone throne in a dark and dreary cave, water dripping from the ceiling, barnacles sticking to occasional unfortunate rocks and minute grey light filtered through the cracks in the stones.

The entrance of the cave was connected to a humungus labyrinth of traps, tunnels and demons. If they hadn't gotten that map from that witch, they wouldn't have survived to save Jack.

"O'course I'm alright!" chirped the captain happily, golden teeth glimmering, heaving himself out of his throne, his clothing wet, ripped, and burnt, hanging off his lanky frame which was seeping blood through thin but deep cuts in his flesh.

"I was eat'n by some godforsaken beasty, then I came here –for some reason–, and there ain't no _rum_!" shrieked Jack, throwing his arms up in irritation.

Will, Elizabeth, Barbossa, Ragetti, Pintel and Gibbs sighed in unison.

"Jack, we have got to get out of here." Will hissed, running over to Jack's throne, before grabbing the captain's wrist.

"Unhand me, damned yankee!" Jack shrieked, struggling in Will's vice-like grip.

"Jack! _He's_ coming to make sure you don't leave!" Elizabeth pleaded.

"Who is?" Jack asked simply, before trying to tug his wrist out of Will's grip again. "Dammit! who knew eunuchs were so _strong_!"

"Wha' is it with your fascination with eunuchs, ol' Sparrow, dear?" grinned Barbossa, Jack the monkey chattering in his ear.

"While we're on the subject of eunuchs, why are yeh here, Barbossa?" Jack muttered as Will dragged him away from the throne.

"They needed a captain." Barbossa shrugged.

Will finally released Jack, and asked him the thing he had been wondering for a while now; "Jack, you never seemed like the one to go down with his ship..."

"I'm not." Jack said flatly, straitening one of his rings.

"Then why did yeh go down wit' t'e ship, cap'n?" Gibbs whispered urgently.

Jack's dark eyes slowly floated up from his rings to Elizabeth's face, who paled slightly. "Why indeed." Jack whispered huskily in a somber manner.

"Not teh sound a littl' off-puttin' or nothin', but isn't there a demon o' some sort who's aft'r our souls for breakin' 'n here for the cap'n?" Ragetti asked urgently, his wooden eye whipping his way and that, as though it could see.

Pintel nodded urgently, agreeing whole-heartedly.

"But!" Jack cheered, flinging a hand up in the air. "Before we run for your lives –and my afterlife–, I have a few presents for some of you!"

Will raised an eyebrow, as did a few of the others.

Jack shimmied over to Elizabeth. "Love?"

"Yes, Jack?"

_SMACK_

"JACK!" Will protested, running over to Elizibeth, who was supporting a rather red mark on her cheek, in the shape of a hand.

Elizabeth blinked a few times, her mouth agape.

"You deserved that." Jack said simply, waving a grubby finger at Elizabeth, before turning to Barbossa.

"What do you have for me, Jack?" Barbossa asked flatly, giving Jack a decaying toothy smile.

_SMACK_

Barbossa too, just stood there, eyes slightly wide, a red hand-mark appearing across one of his cheeks too.

"I don't know if you deserved that, but it was fun anyway." Jack grinned, golden teeth shining in the minute light.

Suddenly, an earth-shattering roar echoed through the cave, from other caves, shaking the walls.

"Le's get outta here!" Ragetti and Pintel screamed in unison, before running like the dogs of hell were after them, though the labyrinth, which was the way they had come in.

Gibbs, a dazed Elizabeth, and Will were soon hot on their heels.

Barbossa and Jack just stood there, in the cave for a moment.

"Did it hurt?" Jack asked innocently, after a moment.

"Did what hurt?" Barbossa asked, deadpanned.

Jack raised two fingers and made scissor motions and simply said "Snip. Snip." with a blinding grin.

Barbossa looked down at Jack for a few seconds, completely deadpanned, then there was another earth-shattering roar, and a muffled scream of "come _on_, Jack!" filtered into the cave from in the labyrinth.

"Jack?" Barbossa asked simply.

"Yes?" questioned Jack.

"Not you. We named the monkey Jack." Barbossa grinned.

Jack paused. "Oh bugger."

The sound of monkey and human screeching alike exploded from the cave, and Jack ran into the labyrinth, flailing his arms about as the monkey yanked at his dreads and gnawed on his ears, Barbossa strolling along behind him nonchalantly.

((END. my rendition on how they're going to save Jack in the Pirates of the Caribbean 3. just something amusing to think about. nothing serious. i only saw the PotC 2 yesterday. i did not write this very well, but oh well! enjoy, and remember; THE RUM LOVES YOU!))


End file.
